When your best friend has free movie coupons that expire on the 31st, there is only one thing to do with them: See a Nicholas Sparks movie. Leigh and I saw 'The Best of Me' tonight. Normally, I don't love Nicholas Sparks movies. I think the translations come off way too cheesy, poorly acted and very over-dramatic. Even though this one was sort of the same as the others, it was really nice. It had a theme like most of his recent movies, the 'I never fell out of love with you' one. It was romantic and sweet, and I didn't see the ending coming which is surprising for myself and a Nicholas Sparks movie. But alas, earwax.
Lately I haven't been really sad about Richard. I haven't been missing him and I seemed to have come to terms with the situation, but this movie kind of brought up some obviously suppressed feelings. I miss him and my heart is aching.
In terms of dating, I feel overwhelmed which I think is a good sign to not do it. I feel pressured by Dan to go on more dates with Ryan, and today Dan overheard me telling Erin and Shannon about a guy I had met at a party who is showing a lot of interest in me and he started making these comments about how I should give Ryan a chance, and how he'll treat me like a queen and etc etc. Next thing I know, I'm leaving the theatre and my phone alerts me that I have a voicemail - and it's from Ryan.
I feel bad not wanting to really give Ryan a chance because I know he's a giant sweetheart and a really good kid but when it's not there, it's not. I knew right away about Richard... I strongly believe you know when you know.
And then there's the guy who I met at the party on the weekend. He's not my regular type, at all. And I don't think I'll really pursue because he does drugs, or at least smokes weed and I don't want to settle for that but he's really nice also and really seems interested in talking to me.
I know having guys pursuing me is nothing, NOTHING, to complain about because it's flattering but it's just all overwhelming and I just want pursuit from Richard. I want throwback to Richard who cared about me and wasn't a jerkface.
Also, the thing about loving him is I never got my heart back nicely, it feels like he threw it back at me and I was clumsy and dropped it. I think there are those tiny little scratches on my heart now. The kind you get, the ones you can't see, but suddenly feel when you get into hot water or get some kind of dirt in them.
It's also just been a bit of a crappy day, I'm overtired and emotional. I'm sure that has a lot to do with it all.
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