Change in season

Excuse me because I'm about to sound like a scrooge, or a negative nancy, or whatever affiliated term goes with not enjoying holidays and festivities like Halloween and Christmas, etc.,

[Could also be called depression, but I'm not going to be that girl who pegs everything on her mental illness - but if I peg it on my naive youth does that make me the girl who pegs everything on her youth and doesn't take blame for mistakes/regrets/etc? You know what I mean? Is this a tangent that can even be followed outside my mind?]

In previous years of my life, I never really liked Halloween or Christmas. In fact, I can go far enough to say that I really hated them. I think it's because like most things in my life, I hyped them up and had so many high expectations that were unrealistic, or maybe just not meant to be and as soon as they weren't met I was miserable. I always enjoyed the idea of the two, but never put enough effort in to really get the results that I wanted. Like Halloween, never really put the time or effort into making a costume. Christmas, I always associated it with gifts and luxuries I just truthfully am unable to get. I almost always had this compare and contrast mentality that was really unhealthy. Of course, I still get jealous and I still look at my life and wish it was something else, but it's the little steps, baby! I'm really working on myself.

Already, I see an improvement that I'm proud of. This Halloween, I thought long and hard about what to be and I actually put a substantial effort into my costume and I was really happy with the results. Because of that, I didn't catch myself at the parties wishing I had as good a costume as the giant Ipod, or the really obscure couples costume.  *** To not be so materialistic, I also had a good time because of the people I was with. Aesthetic pleasure can only go so far.

I even find myself getting excited for Christmas, it snowed today and I caught myself EXCITEDLY looking out the window and singing "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!" Even if it rarely is a white Christmas, it's still the concept. But I'm excited for the decorations, I'm loving the Christmas cups at Starbucks and Second cup - actually particularly love the second cup ones. They're so cute.
Also, while we're on the subject of chain cafes, I've come to discover a love for
1.) Green tea lattes served by Williams. (Introduced by the lovely, Sierra)
2.) Marble loaf cake served by Second Cup (Not as good as Nana's, but probably the closest I'll get)
3.) White peppermint something or another (Kindly recommended by a barista helping me with my indecisiveness)

And lastly, the white hot chocolate from Tim Horton's (Which still isn't available yet - is it not coming back or like what because I'm getting antsy about it)

So that random list are just my winter loves from assorted drink places... irrelevant and probably not super important but also kind of crucial because hello, food.

I'm appreciating the change I am seeing in myself, both lifestyle (Working out, next step: Eating healthier) and mental (Being more positive, loving life, etc.,) and stay tuned for the next part of my journey: Using less brackets.

Also, getting hooked on author Lang Leav and all her beautiful quotes. DANG. Buying her books tomorrow, thank you tumblr for introducing me to her.

Speaking of tumblr, and change, let's talk about the whole inspiration behind this post. I was thinking about change when I stumbled across a picture on my dashboard that I didn't particularly like in the moment, but had noticed I liked it. It must have been from a different time, and that got me thinking about how weird it is that tumblr is really this huge time capsule of who you are as an individual if you really use it a lot, or have used it for a long time. I think I really started using tumblr in first year of university and I can honestly remember what my blog looked like and how much it has changed and how much my likes and what draws me to like/reblog something has evolved. It's neat.

Anyway, I'm getting to that realm of tiredness where my thoughts thought of as a structured sentence and as I type the thoughts slowly start to drain and become jumbled up and sort of inevitably look something like

The brown cat likes to chase micejrfand thejlfs fjkdsfnrwn dofg kdsfj;s;f i want tacos.

So I think it's time to call it a night. Been a really nice weekend. Excited to go to the States next week. Going to the Olive Garden for the first time and I'm excited!!!!!!!!!!