Reality

Since arriving yesterday, I have felt at home. I ran into several people just randomly, which is something I have missed so much. Last night, I kept thinking to myself 'I just need to apply to osap right now and I'll be okay.' The truth is though, I'm going to inevitably run out of money, get stressed, and fall into depression. There's no doubt about that. So I won't. I will not finish my degree yet. 

It hurts to know if I didn't have the financial limitation I would do well here. In second year, when my dad won his lawsuit and we had money, I was so successful. I did so well. No depression, just the occasional breakdown from stress. But that's normal for a university student. Especially a university student with two ten page research paper on two really hard historical topics (Benedictine influence on early Irish monasticism and I think my other one was something with German history) 

Blog, it's not fair.