Disconnected thoughts

I haven’t really posted anything in a while, which hasn’t exactly been my intention. Especially considering what my last post was about. I have tried though, there’s a post that never quite uploaded properly and is still in my drafts but it seemed sort of awkward to just randomly post suddenly… so, I will get around to that eventually and just make note of it right at the start that it’s from a while ago.

Life has been getting kind of difficult. To say I’m completely happy would be a lie. It’s been getting harder to be happy, which truthfully is my own fault. I messed up my medication (both my birth control and my antidepressants) and I’m really attributing my drop in mood to that. If it continues after a steady intake of both, I am going to go see the doctor.

Speaking of doctor, I really need to make an appointment considering it’s been a while. I haven’t been in two months. I’m going to make an appointment for Wednesday or Friday most likely.

Speaking of Friday, I have a date? He’s 32… Today I realized he is more than half my age (By one year, BUT STILL!) So, I think it goes without saying that I will not be pursuing it past the coffee. And, I know. I shouldn’t even be going for the coffee but I am really bad at confrontation and I felt bad saying no. But I will stand my ground and say no… to a second date. If there is even an offer for one, to be honest I’m not sure there will be. Assuming is me being quite cocky.

I got a new camera!! I’m so pleased with it. I played around with it today outside and it has AMAZING manual focus options. I could cry.

I’m really lonely. Caroline went back to school today, and Leighanna and I have such opposite schedules/I’m pretty sure she’s mad at Caroline and I because we bailed on her on Friday. We were supposed to hang out but she didn’t get off work till 11 and we were both just so tired. Even though we didn’t hang out every day, we hung out a lot over the past two and a half weeks and Care literally lives a block and a half way from me. It was sort of comforting knowing she was right there. When we weren’t in university, we could literally just make a split second decision to see each other. It’s really hard not having that anymore. I’m so alone here. I don’t have any friends who live just in the other room, or just across the street or around the corner. Everything is so limiting.

I’m so tired. All the time.

Also I’ve been binge watching sex and the city… don’t feel bad about that.

some photos I've taken with my new camera!