The strangest thing happened today. I was talking to my friend Taylor about life and whatnot, and he made a comment about being jealous of my life which was what I thought in reference to my owning cats. He really wants a cat. I told him he would get a cat one day. He proceeded to tell me that wasn't the only aspect of my life he was jealous of and interested in, but it was the fact that I had three pets, a job, time to do things I enjoyed rather than studying and being in a program I detested. This information was quite the reality shock for me. I had never stopped to think that my life would be something of desire to people, especially because I'm too friendly with the flaws in it. What really caught me off guard though was that I didn't disagree, I didn't protest that my life wasn't as great as it seemed - because truthfully, I think I have a wonderful life. It's not perfect, and I know it never will be, but I'm just really happy with how it is and where it's going. I'm constantly making mistakes and thinking "Maybe that wasn't the best" but that's normal. I think everyone has that. I actually agreed - I think I have a good enough life to be jealous of. I love the person I am, I love the people I am surrounded by, and I just appreciate life. A lot.
And that just made me even happier than I usually am. And I'm pretty happy most of the time - even if I'm grumpy or I'm stressed and even feeling sad - it's always sort of carried by happiness. If that makes sense? The happiness is always there, kind of like how the sadness was always there.
I don't know. But everything is coming up Milhouse.
Ps here is my nightly selfie because apparently I am just incredibly narcissistic right before bed.
**Also I weigh 124 pounds. I've lost about six pounds about I'm super happy about it. Although I don't think it's super noticeable... sigh. My goal truthfully is to be 115 pounds. Here's hoping.
*** Starting catcher in the rye and i've never read it which i'm embarrassed about but whatever..
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