But I live in the Great Big North?!?!

This morning I left my house to discover that winter had left its territorial mark against the other seasons. My obligation to walk to school after my bike had been covered with snow, I found myself not actually detesting the snow. It was really serene the way the snow had accented the branches of trees and left soft powder on the ground. Every year as it gets colder and I am threatened by snow on the various weather networks my heart shrinks two sizes smaller towards the thought of this awful season. I thought maybe I could be changing, but then as the day grew later and I walked home I was again reminded why I hated it. The only appeal of winter is the first, light snowfall onto a blank slate. Anything after is not my favourite. The snow melts and makes everything damp and colder, slush begins to form and salt ruins my shoes. I wish I wasn’t such a negative Nancy towards this because as a Canadian I should be into this season, right? I live in the Great Big North. Something is wrong with me, obviously I have been living through an identity crisis these past years. Or maybe I should just aspire to move somewhere warmer.

Hm, when I thought about writing this entry earlier I didn’t quite plan to be so aggressive about my feeling towards the winter wonderland I’m currently stuck in. But que sera sera.

On a more positive note, I’ve been feeling really good these past few days about everything. There are still some things I’m stressed about, like financial stuff. Actually, mainly that. But I have faith that everything is going to work out. Ultimately, I know that taking the next year off is going to be really helpful to me. I’m starting to plan to plan over the break and see what I have to do and what I can do. I really just need to do some exploring. It’s sad that so many people, including myself, fall prey to the stigma that you have to have everything figured out by the time you’re twenty-two. Realistically, at this point in time with how the world is going, you really don’t. Although I can’t argue that education does help to provide the opportunity to have a better future, it does not guarantee that. I also think that an important thing to remember that if I don’t have stability in my happiness, I’m never going to have stability in my life no matter what I am doing. Who knows really? Maybe in the next year I’ll become a famous travel blogger after spontaneously cashing out my savings and taking a trip to Europe, or I’ll finally have a coherent stream of thoughts long enough to think of a story like I could in high school. Maybe neither of those things will happen, and my life will take me to places I never expected. Planning is pointless. What I need to plan for is to have the confidence to be able to handle anything that is thrown at me and turn into something great. That is really how I will gain achievement.

Today I am thankful for the following:

Family

Friends

The ability to grow

Blankets

Netflix

Laughter

Things to look to forward to in life.

And on that note, it is bedtime.

P.s. I’ve been watching so much Gossip Girl in the past week (Finished two seasons and already watched three of season three) that it’s hard not to think in Kristen Bell’s voice. It’s fun and I definitely feel more devious than usual, but it might be a sign that I have a problem.

Xoxo Gossip Girl.