The last day of November

Wanted to take a day that wasn’t a bell thing to talk about this. A lot of people who know me, or follow me on other social Medias may know that I’m pretty open about suffering from depression and anxiety, and other forms of mental health that come associated with those two things. I think what a lot of people don’t know, especially if you’ve never suffered from it, is how tired I am. I’m tired of having this disability, and I’m tired physically and mentally. I’ve destroyed friendships, relationships, and severely damaged my academic life several times since middle school. I’ve watched people I love get mad at me because they can’t help me or can’t figure out why they’re not able to save me. I’ve literally watched myself deteriorate and lose all rationality for things. I want to be able to message someone like I would with a cold and say “Hey, I’m really not feeling that well today” Without feeling ashamed or embarrassed. I want you to know that if you’ve ever been a friend with someone that suffers from this, that you’re doing the best you can. That it’s not on you, and that even by being in that presence you’re doing good. And believe me when I say that they probably feel guilty that they’re not giving you everything you deserve as a friend, and that they can’t wait for the day that they can. If they can. A big special shoutout to all my friends and family who have been there through really hard phases with me. I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you doubt your worth and presence in my life. I love you. And to everyone dealing with similar things to me, you are loved.